Love is Dead in the Orlando EDM Scene

Crowd Dancing at Roxy Orlando

The following post is a guest blog by Sid Spurious.

Before anyone loses it, there is love. There are beautiful, soulful, loving couples, and they are usually the backbone of the underground scene. However, they are in the significant minority of club hopping freaks. The majority is a melting pot of single dudes in their 20’s and 40’s and women in their 30’s and 40’s.

The young single boys are full of energy and hormones. They get a pass for their wicked ways because of the lack of blood flow to their mushy little brains. It isn’t their fault! The Orlando EDM scene is seething with good vibes, scantily clad women, and bass lines that make women jiggle. These post-emo bucks, hopefully, have enough wherewithal to imply deeper intent to their target, and perhaps sometimes it’s true. But quickly after tasting the raver candy, the sun comes up, and the party is done.

Girls in their 20’s don’t know what they want, so they don’t count. They are looking for attention, which means they have a lot of sex. Promiscuity in the dark rooms of an after party is a rite of passage too many up-and-coming social wannabees fall victim to. It’s not the young strumpets’ fault, they don’t comprehend the real value of the pudenda. But, it’s tough to comprehend anything when you are still finding the line between slightly buzzed and ‘that girl.’

Electro-scene newbies are exploring the territory and having fun. The girls want ego-boosting attention, the boys want to have sex with the girls.

The real leaders of the love death squad are the men in their 40’s. Now before all the deaf music lover boys get their boxer briefs in a wad, let me state that wrinkly raver fellas are NOT evil. However, they have reached a point in their lives where they justify their actions with a life-is-short mentality. Therefore, they take what they want and leave what they want. All of that glow-stick-watching pill popping in the 90’s has made them overly sensitive to even the slightest real relationship. Sometimes, they manage to find a girl who convinces them to try on the boyfriend sweater vest. Six months later, at the most, they have a panic attack and tell all of their like-minded dj buddies how lucky they are not to be tied down again. There is a reason these men are single in their 40’s. Anything in the realm of compromising is equivalent to attending a gig with a prerecorded set.

Lastly, we have the women in their 30s and 40s. These women have been seasoned by their 20’s like a pair of JNCOs at a rave festival. They have dated their fair share of djs, caught at least one mild STD, acted like the crazy girl multiple times in relationships, paid for dinner more than they will admit, texted a guy too much, and approached for sex like a thousand times. These women grow into old women who write off dealing with men completely. They die bitter and strong as hell.

So, there you have it. Sex, drugs, and alcohol. Everyone is free and loving and feeling at-one with the most dope sounds in Orlando. But true love is hard to find.



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