Guys, consider this a lesson from your Uncle Stone Crazy. My friend, Heidi Kneisl, posted a story on Facebook about a douche bag who kept offering her and her friend a shot. Supposedly, it was his buddy’s birthday. After the third try, like the ultimate douche, he laid the guilt trip on them.
“What am I? Too corporate for you?” he went.
I guess, after the guilt trip, the ladies were supposed to finally accept a shot. They still declined.
Heidi’s story inspired a blog. I posted a question for my Facebook female friends: What do you find annoying about guys in bars?
Here are five answers.
1. No means no: If a woman says no, take her word for it. Even if you have a gut feeling her “no” might really mean “yes”, ask yourself this question: Do you really want to deal with a grown-assed woman who still enjoys playing girlish games?
2.Touchy feely: Keep your hands to yourself. She doesn’t know you. Plus no telling where your hands have been.
3. Space invading: Keep your distance. Don’t sit too close or stand too close. Even if you think you’re a nice guy, she doesn’t know that. Right now, you’re looking like a perv.
4.Egotistical behavior: You are not God’s Gift to Women. Let me say this again. You are not God’s Gift to Women. Some women will like you. Some will hate you.
Plus the world does not revolve around you. There’s a reason she’s now talking to the guy you see as your inferior. That’s because that guy isn’t an idiot like you.
5.Talking about your wife or girlfriend and obviously hitting on the woman: Let me see if I can grasp this. You’re interested in the woman. Yet, for some reason, she’s supposed to overlook the fact you are either married or have a girlfriend. I won’t even waste time attempting to comprehend that one.
Yet, I do know you look like a douche. No, worse than a douche. You look like a fuckin’ slimy, piece of shit, douche.
Plus think about this. If you pull this shit on your other half, what makes the woman think you won’t do the same thing to her?
How do you approach women in bars? I really don’t know. Usually, I just drink my booze and mind my own damned business. Either that or socialize with friends.
If anything, I hope this blog teaches dudes how to not look like a douche. Again, you can thank your Uncle Stone Crazy for this.