5 Things Women Find Annoying About Guys in Bars


Guys, consider this a lesson from your Uncle Stone Crazy. My friend, Heidi Kneisl, posted a story on Facebook about a douche bag who kept offering her and her friend a shot. Supposedly, it was his buddy’s birthday. After the third try, like the ultimate douche, he laid the guilt trip on them.

“What am I? Too corporate for you?” he went.

I guess, after the guilt trip, the ladies were supposed to finally accept a shot. They still declined.

Heidi’s story inspired a blog. I posted a question for my Facebook female friends: What do you find annoying about guys in bars?

Here are five answers.

1. No means no: If a woman says no, take her word for it. Even if you have a gut feeling her “no” might really mean “yes”, ask yourself this question: Do you really want to deal with a grown-assed woman who still enjoys playing girlish games?

2.Touchy feely: Keep your hands to yourself. She doesn’t know you. Plus no telling where your hands have been.

3. Space invading: Keep your distance. Don’t sit too close or stand too close. Even if you think you’re a nice guy, she doesn’t know that. Right now, you’re looking like a perv.

4.Egotistical behavior: You are not God’s Gift to Women. Let me say this again. You are not God’s Gift to Women. Some women will like you. Some will hate you.

Plus the world does not revolve around you. There’s a reason she’s now talking to the guy you see as your inferior. That’s because that guy isn’t an idiot like you.

5.Talking about your wife or girlfriend and obviously hitting on the woman: Let me see if I can grasp this. You’re interested in the woman. Yet, for some reason, she’s supposed to overlook the fact you are either married or have a girlfriend. I won’t even waste time attempting to comprehend that one.

Yet, I do know you look like a douche. No, worse than a douche. You look like a fuckin’ slimy, piece of shit, douche.

Plus think about this. If you pull this shit on your other half, what makes the woman think you won’t do the same thing to her?


How do you approach women in bars? I really don’t know. Usually, I just drink my booze and mind my own damned business. Either that or socialize with friends.

If anything, I hope this blog teaches dudes how to not look like a douche. Again, you can thank your Uncle Stone Crazy for this.


Downtown Sanford’s Willow Tree Cafe: A German Restaurant Worth The Trip

During the few years I lived in Sanford, Orlando friends always asked me about Willow Tree, a German restaurant located in Sanford’s downtown. Actually, the full name is Hollerbach’s Willow Tree Cafe.

Hollerbach's Willow Tree Cafe

It is one of the few Central Florida restaurants known for authentic German food.  A sausage plate runs between nine to twenty bucks.  The King’s Feast that feeds four to six people prices around fifty-six bucks.  Other meals run between thirteen to twenty-four bucks.

If a patron owns a strong taste for meat, Willow Tree is paradise.  For example, Kassler Lende contains bacon and pork loins.  Saurbraten is marinated beef.  Schlachthaus Platter Fur Zwei (Butchershop Platter for Two) contains Bratwurst, Weisswurst, Knockwurst, Leberkase and Kassler.  (Yes, all five are meat.)

Yet, the main attraction for my friends and I is Das Boot, a glass boot full of draft beer. You get the 2 liter for twenty-two bucks.  The 3 liter costs thirty-three bucks.

Thursday through Sunday nights, Jimmy and Eckhard perform.

Willow Tree opens at 11 am Tuesday through Sunday.  Mondays are closed.  Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, it closes at 9Pm.  Friday and Saturday, it closes at 10PM.

For some folks Sanford is a long drive.  Yet, Willow Tree is worth the trip.

The following photos are from past visits.

The Beacham’s Saturday Nights: The Spot for Those Loving Current Hip Hop

The Beacham

Two Saturdays back, The Beacham nightclub asked me to photograph for the evening. The Beacham exists in Downtown Orlando.  Fridays and Saturdays are hip-hop nights. Friday’s are Ladies’ Nights.  For ladies 21 and up, there’s no cover all night.  Saturdays are hosted by new urban station 104.5. Sundays are Latin music nights. On these nights, it’s all you can drink.

On Fridays and Saturdays, DJs Richie Rich and D-Strong play the current jams.

When I photographed for The Beacham last summer, I would always see the evening’s two female dancers in the lobby.  They did this earlier in the night and later danced on the stage inside.  This night, I saw DJs playing reggae in the lobby.

If you like today’s hip-hop, The Beacham is your spot.

House Music Legend Derrick Carter Grooves Orlando Crowd

Last Friday, house music legend Derrick Carter headlined at Orlando’s The Social. Considered one of the top DJs in the world, Carter started his craft in Chicago’s underground scene. Actually, he started DJing at age nine. At this time, he DJed family reunions. In early adulthood, he released his first single “Love Me Right”.

People call him a house DJ. Yet, at The Social, Derrick Carter pleasantly mixed beyond typical house music sounds. He mixed disco, funk and soul right along with house. People danced and rode the happy mood right along with him.  His skills definitely showed why he’s considered one of the world’s best DJs.

In the past decade and to the present, as I photographed events, DJs mostly played house music. With my knowing house music originated in Chicago, Derrick Carter was a personal first for me. I had never witnessed the skills of a Chicago house DJ before, especially a legend.

It’s like hearing so much about the blues, music created by Mississippi musicians. Then, finally, you witness the performance of a Mississippi blues entertainer. With no disrespect to other performers of the genre, seeing the Mississippi entertainer makes the blues performance feel and look more authentic. That’s how I saw Derrick Carter. When it came to house music, I was witnessing the real deal.

Orlando’s Queens of Noise opened the event.  The female trio contains Lola B, Candice B and Fox Force005. Once a month, they play Sandwich Bar, located in Orlando’s Milk District.  Before Derrick arrived onstage, Queens of Noise already had people dancing.

Many Orlando, house music, fans missed a great evening.  For doing that, they ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Photos of Kiss/Def Leppard Show in Tampa 7-23-2014

Last Wednesday night, Kiss and Def Leppard performed Tampa’s Mid-Florida Credit Union Amphitheater. For a review of the show, I’ll let Jay Cridlin of Tampa Bay Times tell it. A third band opened the show, a group called Kobra and the Lotus. Orlando photographer Robert Millward attended the show.  Plus he donated photos to this humble blog.

Celebrating Batman Day with Central Florida Nightlife Photos

Of all people, I just can not believe I missed Batman Day, the day of Batman’s 75th anniversary.

Despite my lateness, I decided celebrating anyway.  For the celebration, I searched my photos for anything Batman related.  The following pics are from Central Florida’s nightlife.

Live Lewd Girls: Dirty Stories for Charity 2

Last Thursday at Orlando’s Peacock Room, I witnessed another Live Lewd Girls event. Live Lewd Girls read erotic fiction for charity. This month’s charity was Full Tummy Project. Created by The Doglando Foundation, Full Tummy Project distributes dog and cat food to residents. Tonight, the ladies read fanfiction, stories of popular fictional characters written by fans.

Belladiva Bonesaw, the event’s host, read first.

Belladiva Bonesaw

Her erotic story involved Willow and Giles, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

“Please fuck me Giles, you have to fuck me..”


Next, Cherry Bob-bomb read.  Cherry Bob-omb

Cherry read a homoerotic story involving Castiel and Dean from Supernatural.

Cherry performs for Skill Focus Burlesque.


Next, Katie Correll read fanficton someone wrote about her.
Katie Correll reading

Some people may remember Katie Corell from King of the Nerds, a reality competition show featuring nerds. Someone wrote a fanfiction about Katie.  In the story, Katie pegs host Curtis Armstrong with a dildo.

Fuck me like Edison fucked Tesla..”

Katie Corell is a puppeteer.


As the ladies read, Reno Mussatto played drums.

Reno Mussatto


Minerva Quaintrelle read next.

Minerva Quaintrelle

Thor and Loki have an incestuous sexual encounter.Thor milks Loki and gives him oral sex.

“No, just stop,” an audience member says as the story continued.

Minerva Quaintrelle performs for Polylust Burlesque.


Next, Sydney Screams read.

A sexual encounter happens between Deanna Troi and Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Deanna seduces Data.

Sydney Screams is a fetish model.


Next, Ruby Darling read.
Ruby Darling reading

A bisexual threesome happens between X-Men characters Magneto, Rougue and Wolverine.

Ruby Darling, a veteran Lewd Girl, performs for Skill Focus Burlesque.


Katie Corell returned as Janine Melnitz, the secretary from Ghostbusters.
Katie Correll reading as Janine Melnitz from Ghostbusters

Janine has phone sex with the chief of police.


Next, Ivey Daniels read.

In this story, Captain American, Tigra and She-Hulk form a threesome in the gym of the Avenger’s mansion.

Ivey Daniels performs for Skill Focus Burlesque.


Last, Whitney Morgan dressed as Supergirl and read.

Whitney Morgan as Supergirl

Supergirl is stripped and abused by Galatea, her clone.

Whitney Morgan is a porn star and model.


For next month, the reading happens again on August 21. Food will be the theme. Like the Jackson 5, I’ll be there.